Monday, 10 May 2010
Thursday, 18 February 2010
This is The Final Post...
Sunday, 14 February 2010
I want...
It may seem selfish but this is a list of I wants...
I want to snack on more veg
I want to drink more water
I want to lose weight
I want to write more
I want to feel happy more often
I want to be paid to write
I want to feel good about myself
I want a typewriter
I want to make zines
I want to be fabulous
I want to take more photos
I want to be more creative
I want to read more
I want to get good marks at uni
I want to help my parents more
I want to try and accept our situation
I want to love
I want to be loved
I want to enjoy uni
I want...everything
I want to snack on more veg
I want to drink more water
I want to lose weight
I want to write more
I want to feel happy more often
I want to be paid to write
I want to feel good about myself
I want a typewriter
I want to make zines
I want to be fabulous
I want to take more photos
I want to be more creative
I want to read more
I want to get good marks at uni
I want to help my parents more
I want to try and accept our situation
I want to love
I want to be loved
I want to enjoy uni
I want...everything
Monday, 1 February 2010
Romance..... ?
...Does it still exist?
I like to think it does, but I have quite lost faith in it. Then again, I haven’t been in a “decent” relationship since I was 14, so maybe it is still out there, I just haven’t found it yet.
I dream of fairytales, a prince rescuing me from a tower after slaying the evil dragon, 100 bad guys and getting scratched to ribbons as he makes his way through a forest of thorns. He would do all this just because he loved me.
Prince Charming would stroke my hair and hold me tight while I fall asleep, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. After an amazing breakfast, he would kiss me goodbye before leaving for work, a hard day of dragon slaying and bad guy killing…oh actually, scratch the whole dragon slaying thing, he wouldn’t kill animals, especially not endangered ones like dragons! Bad guy killing and, um, helping the poor. He would return home at the end of the day, a single hand picked flower in one hand and a chocolate cake to share in the other, to an amazing cooked dinner on the table (cooked by me of course). Perfect!
I know. I am a dreamer. But a girl should have her dreams. I dream in colours and cakes, most of my dreams are pink fluffy sponge cakes full of cream and sweeties! Some are brown, burnt rock cakes, and this makes me sad, but sometimes, even the most blackened rock cakes can still have jam in the middle, you just have to look for it.
So I try and stay positive, but sometimes it’s hard to have so much belief and faith in something when you’re not even sure it exists…although it was totally easy to believe in Father Christmas…
Is it too much to ask that my cakey dreams become reality? I want a love that wraps me up in candy floss, sprinkles glitter all over me and leaves that warm, fuzzy feeling in my tummy that cakes leave, but with much fewer calories and a lot less guilt.
In 2010 can a boyshape still be as romantic as they were known to be, way back in the day? Can he still leave love notes in secret places for me to find? Can he get his scissors and glue out and make me a card to say he loves me, just because? Can he post comments for me to read when I get home? Can he take me on proper dates, not a slap up meal and flashing cash all over the place, but maybe to a cute, little veggie café and a stroll through the park? Would he bring me sweeties and lollipops to share with him? Will he totally appreciate it if I cook him pancakes for breakfast? Will he adore the cupcakes that I bake for him? Would he shower me with fuzzy hugs and glittery kisses?
Will he still love me despite my blatantly obvious weird quirk and oddities, like loving dollies, and babbling on about total rubbish, telling five different stories at once? Or would he just tell me that I’m ‘far too weird’ for him?
Or I am just asking for far too much?
I am a total guru on the subject of scaring boyshapes away when they think they might just like you. I am not clingy or freaky; I think…I don’t know what it is. I think I just get carried away on a huge pink cloud, wrapped up in that candy floss so quickly that it gets in my eyes and makes me all sticky and gooey and just downright silly. I shower them with compliments and love and they run the other way screaming, suddenly I fall from my pink cloud like rain and land, head first, in the centre of the biggest burnt rock cake I have ever seen! And this one doesn’t have any jam in the middle! Typical.
I like to think it does, but I have quite lost faith in it. Then again, I haven’t been in a “decent” relationship since I was 14, so maybe it is still out there, I just haven’t found it yet.
I dream of fairytales, a prince rescuing me from a tower after slaying the evil dragon, 100 bad guys and getting scratched to ribbons as he makes his way through a forest of thorns. He would do all this just because he loved me.
Prince Charming would stroke my hair and hold me tight while I fall asleep, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. After an amazing breakfast, he would kiss me goodbye before leaving for work, a hard day of dragon slaying and bad guy killing…oh actually, scratch the whole dragon slaying thing, he wouldn’t kill animals, especially not endangered ones like dragons! Bad guy killing and, um, helping the poor. He would return home at the end of the day, a single hand picked flower in one hand and a chocolate cake to share in the other, to an amazing cooked dinner on the table (cooked by me of course). Perfect!
I know. I am a dreamer. But a girl should have her dreams. I dream in colours and cakes, most of my dreams are pink fluffy sponge cakes full of cream and sweeties! Some are brown, burnt rock cakes, and this makes me sad, but sometimes, even the most blackened rock cakes can still have jam in the middle, you just have to look for it.
So I try and stay positive, but sometimes it’s hard to have so much belief and faith in something when you’re not even sure it exists…although it was totally easy to believe in Father Christmas…
Is it too much to ask that my cakey dreams become reality? I want a love that wraps me up in candy floss, sprinkles glitter all over me and leaves that warm, fuzzy feeling in my tummy that cakes leave, but with much fewer calories and a lot less guilt.
In 2010 can a boyshape still be as romantic as they were known to be, way back in the day? Can he still leave love notes in secret places for me to find? Can he get his scissors and glue out and make me a card to say he loves me, just because? Can he post comments for me to read when I get home? Can he take me on proper dates, not a slap up meal and flashing cash all over the place, but maybe to a cute, little veggie café and a stroll through the park? Would he bring me sweeties and lollipops to share with him? Will he totally appreciate it if I cook him pancakes for breakfast? Will he adore the cupcakes that I bake for him? Would he shower me with fuzzy hugs and glittery kisses?
Will he still love me despite my blatantly obvious weird quirk and oddities, like loving dollies, and babbling on about total rubbish, telling five different stories at once? Or would he just tell me that I’m ‘far too weird’ for him?
Or I am just asking for far too much?
I am a total guru on the subject of scaring boyshapes away when they think they might just like you. I am not clingy or freaky; I think…I don’t know what it is. I think I just get carried away on a huge pink cloud, wrapped up in that candy floss so quickly that it gets in my eyes and makes me all sticky and gooey and just downright silly. I shower them with compliments and love and they run the other way screaming, suddenly I fall from my pink cloud like rain and land, head first, in the centre of the biggest burnt rock cake I have ever seen! And this one doesn’t have any jam in the middle! Typical.
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Creating a Love that isn't real...
Have you ever developed a crush on someone you didn't even know?
I do it a lot.
On my birthday I met a boyshape and somehow ending up exchanging numbers with him. Couldn't believe my luck. We text a lot over the next couple of days but then it ended. He stopped replying.
I text him a few weeks ago to wish him Happy New Year but he didn't know who I was. He obviously deleted my number.
I just started up a new blog elsewhere (Sorry Blogspot) and I imported my hotmail contacts only to discover he has a blog there also. After a quick peek and learning that he is in a band, sings and writes poetry...I feel crushy all over again but how do you crush on a stranger without seeming like a big fat stalker...?
I guess I shall just have to ignore him forever.
Love and Robots.
xoxo
I do it a lot.
On my birthday I met a boyshape and somehow ending up exchanging numbers with him. Couldn't believe my luck. We text a lot over the next couple of days but then it ended. He stopped replying.
I text him a few weeks ago to wish him Happy New Year but he didn't know who I was. He obviously deleted my number.
I just started up a new blog elsewhere (Sorry Blogspot) and I imported my hotmail contacts only to discover he has a blog there also. After a quick peek and learning that he is in a band, sings and writes poetry...I feel crushy all over again but how do you crush on a stranger without seeming like a big fat stalker...?
I guess I shall just have to ignore him forever.
Love and Robots.
xoxo
Monday, 11 January 2010
And So You're Back...From Outer Space...
Yes, that's right...I'm back in the mos glorious city in the world!!
Oh no, wait...I'm in Salford.
Christmas is over and once again I have chosen to leave my family behind and live in a murky, damp infused flat in this glum city. I must admit, it does look a little nicer covered in eight inches of snow but overall...it's still Salford.
Expect more frequent updates from me now, including the journey of my new diet... ooh, how exciting!
But for now, I must sign off...I need to tidy.
Love and snowflakes.
xxx
Oh no, wait...I'm in Salford.
Christmas is over and once again I have chosen to leave my family behind and live in a murky, damp infused flat in this glum city. I must admit, it does look a little nicer covered in eight inches of snow but overall...it's still Salford.
Expect more frequent updates from me now, including the journey of my new diet... ooh, how exciting!
But for now, I must sign off...I need to tidy.
Love and snowflakes.
xxx
Monday, 4 January 2010
4am and I can't sleep...
It's 4am and I cant sleep. The room is too dark to worry about perfect typing and punctuation right now so please excuse me for that.
I keep worrying. Worrying about strange things that have never occured to me before until just now...
it has always been a dream of mine to live in Brighton, I adore the place and always have since my first visit when I was 4. It has never come to mind that I would not live there after university.
However, now I am getting older I have started to become incredibly over-protective of my mum and find it harder and harder to leave her. When I have a baby (in around 6 years) I want her to be there all the time, helping me, looking after us both. But If I am living at the bottom of the country, how is that going to be possible? Now I'm lying in bed thinking what I can do...let's move the whole family down to Brighton just so my parents can be there to look after me. But I'm an adult now, I have to look after myself. But I don't want to abandon my mum, she needs me and I need her. I need Vati too but I guess mums are different in a way, you can't leave them.
Anyway, I've rambled it down for now so it's out there and maybe I can sleep for a while. I'm so tired.
Goodnight.
xx
I keep worrying. Worrying about strange things that have never occured to me before until just now...
it has always been a dream of mine to live in Brighton, I adore the place and always have since my first visit when I was 4. It has never come to mind that I would not live there after university.
However, now I am getting older I have started to become incredibly over-protective of my mum and find it harder and harder to leave her. When I have a baby (in around 6 years) I want her to be there all the time, helping me, looking after us both. But If I am living at the bottom of the country, how is that going to be possible? Now I'm lying in bed thinking what I can do...let's move the whole family down to Brighton just so my parents can be there to look after me. But I'm an adult now, I have to look after myself. But I don't want to abandon my mum, she needs me and I need her. I need Vati too but I guess mums are different in a way, you can't leave them.
Anyway, I've rambled it down for now so it's out there and maybe I can sleep for a while. I'm so tired.
Goodnight.
xx
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